just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
