everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
