We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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