Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
