I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
