hotel room ftw
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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