Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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