Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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