mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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