okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
