I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
it glows. i had to have it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
