Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
