: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
