Your tits are I can't wait for
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
