Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
