he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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