im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
