I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
