I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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