Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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