Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize