maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
