It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize