k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
