I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize