Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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