I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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