i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
