She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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