so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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