i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
