epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
