Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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