i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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