my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
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You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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