You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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