Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
