dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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