You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
