so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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