My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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