I need help removing her.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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