yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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