Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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