She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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