We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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