your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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