I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
