It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
