I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
