I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
