I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize