is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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