the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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