i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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