the day after is always just damage control
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
