She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
