btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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