did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
