This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
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Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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